Monday evening "running backing"

David always says "Monday Morning Quarterbacking" so I'm going to use the "running back" mode in the evening so here we go. I've come to a place in worship where I feel like I can go one of several ways while leading. There's always the "get totally lost" in worship in which one totally connects and has a "life (or Sunday) experience" while leading and doesn't concentrate on anyone who is following the "lead worshipper." Then there's the "I'm sort of getting lost but not totally because I forgot the words to the song and have to force myself to look back at the screen to figure out what comes next." Thirdly, there is the "something else is going on in my life and I just really don't want to be here leading because I feel like I'm more of a distraction instead of a leader." Fourth of all, "I feel like God is doing something here so lets just show up and see what happens." Finally, "everything that is going on during the week will show up on Sunday morning so if I give all of my best during the week Sunday will be AWESOME!" I can tell you that I feel like all of these were and have been me. I so badly want to be the first and the last of all of these all the time but I fall so short and wind up being like the 3rd on sometimes. Just a little insight into a lead worshippers mind.